For many years I've had something of a tendency to hang around at the edge of things, and especially people. Naturally in my eyes it's never actually been anything to do with me - other people are distant, modern culture cuts people off from each other, etc etc etc.
Then last night I was walking home from the bus stop, and as got near to my street, something occured to me. The people behind all those windows are my neighbours. They're MINE. I'm THEIRS. I used to feel that when I still lived at home before my mum died. Just for a brief time, I lived as an adult in the neighbourhood where I grew up in the country. I went to the local pub, got drunk with people from all walks of local life, and stopped to chat with anyone and everyone I came across if I was out for a walk. I knew everyone, they knew me.
In short, I was part of a community. I've been missing that, and I suddenly noticed that it's right here on my doorstep, absolutely literally. It looks different - I'm in a 21st century city now, not a 20th century village. But that doesn't make a difference. I do. There's no reason at all why I can't stop and chat with people in my street or my pub like I used to - or if I don't, there's no reason to complain about society preventing me doing so.
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Yes the concept of community is an unusual one. My community usually means the place I live rather than me and the people I live with, the neighbours, the houses at the end of the street that I don't know anyone in - the passers by that I may gesture a hello, maybe interact with and talk to about the weather or their dog's name or walk past, ignore, flirt with, share the same air. But how many do I really know and are they more than than skin bags ploughing the same space as me. Is more be possible?
I was talking about my new community to a colleague today. He shared the story of his father-in-law, who upon moving to a new village, spends the first night in the pub - mainly to introduce himself to the community and become part of his community. He then visits for a half pint every day because he knows that the community serves a big function to him - if the sink leaks or the electrics fail or the lawn-mower breaks or the cat is sick. He knows that most, if not all his needs, are met in his community and he adds his own repertoire to the pot.
So am I advocating we all throw ourselves at the drinking dens?
No - but where community is real, there is much of life to be gained from embracing it.
Tonight, I am going to embrace my new community and visit my local pub and introduce myself!
Hi Charles!
I like that distinction between community as a place and community as people. And also the pub idea, funnily enough. "We're not getting pissed, we're networking." (Another fauxtation!)
I've a feeling this community theme is going to be a runner.
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