Self and selfishness

"I've got to stop being so selfish. It just doesn't get me what I want."

A king amongst fauxtations there, from the mouth of a work colleague of a friend of mine.

This guy is apparently so selfish that he was allegedly unaware of the irony of his remark. We did laugh when my chum shared it with me afterwards in the pub. It does point to an interesting paradox though. It's often true that being selfish doesn't get you what you want. So is the reverse true? Is being unselfish ultimately self-interested?

Q: Why would I be unselfish?
A: To be thoughtful to others.
Q: What for?
A: So they like me, or think well of me, or do me a favour in return some day, or so I bank a bit of good karma.

One thing I do know about being selfish is that it's BAD. So can an act only be good if I don't get anything out of it? So if people like me or help me out or whatever I've done a bad thing? I put it to you, ladeez and gennelmen, that this is pretty screwy logic. The flaw here is thinking that there can only be one winner. It's important to look after yourself. If you don't, you'll be in no condition to do anything for anyone else anyway. If you don't have fun, you won't be much fun to be with. (Ooo, two fauxtations in one post. Got to be a record.)

Maybe there's another angle. Selfishness is thinking only of yourself, right? What if being unselfish is purely and simply allowing yourself to connect with others? Rather than something that's measured in terms of whether or not you take the last biscuit from the plate.

I wonder if that's what this guy was thinking?