Shut up and listen!

I'm looking for a new coach at the moment, and had an excellent sample session with one today. One thing I got from it was a clearer idea of exactly what I want to say - to the world, and also therefore myself. That message is -

Shut up and listen!

So for the next few days I'm seeing where shutting up and listening takes me. So far, for example, I've shut up and listened to Fred messing about like the ten year old boy he is, which led to a bunch of laughter where there might normally have been stern reproval on my part. I often make a lot of internal noise about how Fred ought to be; sometimes this is appropriate, but very often it's just habit. That's the 'shut up' part - setting aside the internal noise. Doing so makes it a lot easier to listen to the real-life boy who's actually in front of me, rather than the meek, quiet, seen-and-not-heard child part of me wants him to turn into sometimes. He's not like that, and I don't want him to be like that; so letting him be who he is and listening to that works out great for both of us. Cool!

We don't learn when we talk, only when we listen. That includes internal talk - judgements, expectations, assumptions and so on. I'm going to be looking for other ways I can shut up, and can't wait to see what I get to hear.